: Detected and repelled a love bombing attempt; what is my reward?
Guy from a schmancy B2B company took our company’s team out for drinks.
He inappropriately massaged my shoulders, kept calling me “buddy,” and made a big show of paying for everything on corpo card.
I ended up walking to the bus station with him and he gave a big spiel about how he loves spoiling his friends, hates being stingy with his money. Then he asked what my biggest luxury spending category was. I said probably fountain pens. He mocked me, saying that’s not even real spending and he meant like “a car or something.” Then he pivoted to talking about the fancy art pens his friend had gotten him into and took one out of his bougie messenger bag and tried to give me one. I rejected the gift.
The encounter left me with two thoughts:
- There is a certain type of guy who is really butthurt about not being able to sexually harass women anymore, and views me as the next best thing: a man (therefore not a legitimate victim) but also sort of cute, and feminine in ways that don’t rise above the threshold of “actually a woman.” This is the type of guy who catcalls me on the subway, the type of guy who sexually assaulted me that one time, and the type of guy who thinks my dignity can be purchased with a $15 pen.
- I get no prize for fending off a probable narcissist and creep, other than the awkward feeling that all the evidence I have against him is circumstantial and maybe I rushed to judgment. There is no party or cash, no movie where I get to see how much better my life plays out.
Bye…