: Lesser-known ways to be fake on the internet, and why it doesn't matter
So, the reason we do all this indie blogging shit is because we are fed up with algorithmic feeds and megaplatforms, right? With the attention economy, the spam economy, the hustlers and influencers, the idea that you need to be doing everything in your power to marshall clicks and views in your direction in order to have a job or future? Yeah, I’m fed up with all that stuff too.
But I think it’s possible to overcorrect, to lean too far into a sort of internet asceticism that discounts any attempt to cultivate or engage an audience as a betrayal of core internet values or a sign of inauthenticity. I don’t want to pick on netigen in particular, but the post linked there exemplifies the idea: that only by sharing your posts exactly nowhere can you reach the nirvana of being your True Self on the internet and having an audience that accepts you for it.
I’m happy to forgive the logical impossibility of finding any audience without sharing your blog somewhere—I understand that netigen and their ilk are not absolutists and will share their posts slowly, in curated forums. But I take issue with the underlying assumption that it’s impossible to be your authentic self when performing before an audience, or (the reverse) that somehow removing the audience from the equation unlocks an authentic self that isn’t there when nobody’s looking.
Folks, I have read Judith Butler. This “true self” shit is bull. Every single word we speak or action we take involves interaction with another, even if the other is not in the room. When you sing along with a song on the radio, you borrow the identity of the speaker, inhabit their experience for a moment, perhaps learn something in the process. I journal (pen and paper) most days, and do so because it helps me step outside of myself: I write with a bit more perspective and distance, with an imagined audience that varies between “me in fifty years” and “jury if I am arrested on false charges and need an alibi” (OCD lol); my mood affects which audience I imagine, and the audience I imagine affects the tone I take. It’s a house of mirrors, yeah?
Even self-directed actions, such as masturbation, invoke the fundamental dynamics of self and other. This is how we arrive at concepts such as “self care”: Sometimes we need to “fake it” by roleplaying a caretaker and patient, because there is no room in the concept of an “authentic self” for this bifurcation.
Let me circle back to the point: I do not want to be TikTok famous, or even Neocities famous. But I am here because I want to talk about the things that matter to me to people who might share my views. I want people to come to this blog slash space in good faith, because they are genuinely interested in reading/thinking about the ideas I present here. And I am overjoyed when people reach out and say they like something I wrote, or even present a contrasting view. The desire to be heard, understood, and recognized is a human desire; it is not the mark of insincerity.
So, how do I “promote” my posts, given that I am trying to find such an audience? Mostly, I try to just lurk a lot, mostly on the 32-bit Cafe Discourse forum, especially their big blog thread where people share all kinds of interesting posts. I don’t post every single one of my posts, nor do I read everything, but so far I have been able to at least skim the title of every blog post in the megathread when I check in every few days. I try my best to leave a few comments, even if it’s dumb shit like “Hey that’s cool.” If I’m perfectly honest, I do so with the hope that the positive energy I try to put out will one day be reflected at me.
Does that make me a fake bitch? Maybe? But like, so what. I’m just here for a good time, and arguments.