convexer's dumpster site

This is my garbage site. It's supposed to be garbage, which I'm told is liberating. You aren't supposed to like it, or me.

I created this site because I wanted a site where I could talk about personal shit, particularly gender politics, regular politics, and my assorted gender issues. Goal is to write more freely/stream of consciousness instead of trying to edit myself and play it safe. There will be some questionable punctuation and design decisions.

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"If I have peed farther, it is by standing on the shoulders of giants."

convexer's dumpster site 88x31

Work wife

Is there ever an appropriate use of the term work wife? I don’t know where it came from, but I can’t seem to remember ever hearing it used appropriately. Here are the three times I have it used to me:

  1. In reference to my close friend/mentee, who was hired to our company around the same time as me. We used to talk about everything, and now we talk about a reasonable range of things since she has a boyfriend and I have a girlfriend. The person who said “work wife” was my narcissistic boss who drove two colleagues to quit their job. We had witness something funny at work and I said I couldn’t wait to tell my friend about it. Narcissist boss kinda rolled her eyes and said, “Oh right, your work wife.” I think she was basically trying to stir up FUD: Make me doubt my reasons for wanting to share this funny story with my friend (perhaps it was just because I am a stereotypical man who needs constant positive affirmation) and insinuate that our relationship was more than platonic.
  2. In reference to my close colleague/peer who I have an extremely long IM chat log with because she and I have nearly exactly complementary strengths and we ask each other about almost everything. Honestly, our working relationship is at times codependent and I can understand why someone would use the term in this context, but I still don’t think that makes it appropriate.
  3. Last week, when I got a little ticked off at my colleague (technically a superior) who “suggested” I increase the font size of a title when I was clearly working on another part of the document and formatting would come later. She seemed unprepared for my flippant response and got quiet for a few minutes; a middle-aged guy noticed this and asked me what happened, and when he told him, he was like, “Right, a lovers’ quarrel.” We are not lovers.