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Me to my friend: I had the best therapy session the other day. She was asking all these hard fucking questions, and I was like, “Why do you always ask me such hard questions?” And she was like, “That’s what you pay me for.”
Friend: What did she ask you?
Me: She asked me why it was so important to me that so-and-so have a good opinion of me.
Friend: That’s literally exactly what I asked you two weeks ago.
Me: Would you like to be my therapist?
Friend: No.